YWAM

I love this organization/university. The strongest people I've met in the world are the people that know God is real.
My time there was refreshing, I was running on empty most of 2009/2010. I see the value of worship and I feel equipped to face the next chapter in my life.
It does teach skill but its main focus is charachter, integrity and life, because those are the areas that bring people down.
(SOI) - school of illustration
The first 3 months I learned about art and worship.
Some highlights:

-different media every week
-color values make shapes
-background and composition are important
-all the practice and being challenged in creativity
-rendering

(FCM)- foundations of counseling ministry
The next 3 months I took a different school. Basically I discovered my Identity in God..... the best investment I've ever made. I have had alot of time to think about whats important so I got a lot out of it.
Some highlights:

-It connected all this head knowledge about God and put it in my heart.
-I learned about myself and people
-God is not a puzzle to figure out but a real friendship. Gods got it all figured out and the result is life & peace, we need to put Him first. (romans 8:5)
-what an amazing way to do life, sometimes I think about how much time has passed me by, then I think how 'worth it' it is to know how big and good God is. Nothing is more valuable than this.
-prov 4:7 kept me focused


It has taken years to climb this mountain of recovery, just to see there is another mountain at the top, this mountain of life. Now I know that God wants to climb it for me but i have to let Him.
Wherever I go I have a Great Guide through it all. God has already won

we had an art show to finish the class. These are some of my submits

1samuel 16:7




BROKEN HOME

PSALM 81

PEACE


This is more of the last few weeks of my art class that just ended. Now I am doing a foundations in counceling ministry (FCM formerly IBC) among other things, (I'll tell you more about that later). This school has nothing to do with art but after a week of debating I have decided that it is a wise investment into my life. The next 12 weeks will be interesting!

week 8: photoshop

special effects illustration



communication collage from a place you have been/served

update

Week 6- mixed media that tells part of your life story
Week 7- adobe illustrator- replicate an organic/ethnic object and a tech object

Next week is photoshop.
My future plans...
I plan on being here at least 3 more months with 50% chance of longer.
As always God is large and in charge.

Here are some of my projects for those of you that have asked about them

(Its all about visual communication for me)

organic/ethnic object -adobe illustrator project

social injustice

BROKEN HOME

The broken home is a problem in America. It starts with a failed parental relationship involving divorce or physical, psychological abuse in the home. The result of this social injustice has a negative effect on a single human life. As that life grows up it effects the other lives around it furthering dysfunction in relationships and giving momentum to abuse and death that affects the world around that one human life from a broken home.

The molding of a young persons’ psychological health is fragile under this kind of stress and sets the course for a life of destruction.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

This is a cause and effect picture. A vintage water pump symbolizes the home and it drips water into the life of a young person.

The ‘Home’ is full of life (water), The ‘Broken Home’ is full of problems, low life, dirty, corrosion.

Wollawa 8/2010

In August I went backpacking in the Wollawa Mts for 6 days. We hiked into our first camp site late at night and in the rain.. After the 3^rd day of being in the rain we we’re irritated and frustrated. One morning a friend said

“Hey, it’s Gods world, He can do whatever He wants in it”.

That completely changed my perspective on life. The next few days it rained and I kept thinking about that concept of God being in charge, its not about me and how us serving Him is hard to fully understand. I realized I expect God to make me happy and serve me when I hurt or I’m uncomfortable. So instead of praying for comfort I should pray for trust in God because He knows best and that is a solid foundation to have.

Verses like these have new meaning to me because I understand why they are true.

HEBREWS 11:

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

PROVERBS 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight

Art:

Half mountain where I learned, half structure being built on a solid foundation of God being in charge.

-Complimentary colors

-atmospheric perspective

-acrylic, collage, pastel, matte, spray paint, ink

Personality

Chazown- hebrew word for dream, vision, revelation
      (Pronounced calzone without the l)
The purpose:  "everyone ends up some where, few people end up some where on purpose"
" where there is no  vision the people perish" - prov 29:18
It is a result of your past experience's, spiritual gift's, core value's.

A friend from class told me about this conference at church and I should check it out. It's a fri evening, sat morning time and could be very helpful.
It's 1 spiritual gifts test with 1 personality test (DISC assesment). 
I got alot out of it, here are my results if you are interested, if not feel free to think Im weird, I know the value of this stuff.
Spiritual gifts
-Discernment
-Helps/service
-Craftsman/artisan
-Intercession/prayer
-Giving

DISC (personality assesment)
Adapted style             Natural style
93           Dominance      92
45           Influence       35
51           Steadiness      10
17           Compliance     69

Im a high "D" & "C" (for the main idea, its not exact)
Basically "D" people really want to shoot something and be agressive, real effecient get it done... "C" people are real creative and indecisive, compassionate, always aiming and not shooting. 

So I am always shooting and not enough aiming. :)  
Some of my Core values:
Integrity
Honesty
Generosity
Creativity
Encouraging
Self disciplined
Wisdom

Personal mission statement I made based on these & past experiences:
     "to help young people in America know Gods' omnipotence, hate complacency, live for & love integrity"

I still wish I knew, but I have an idea what is up ahead for me.

Gone

"The man who has God as his treasure has all things in one" - A.W. Tozer

Week 6: mixed media that tells a part of your story

update

(pre AVM, but still truth)

week 4: color theory, acrylics & texture

Mauricio Palacio was the teacher this week. Great guy, I haven't seen Mauricio since the early '90's, such a good artist.

week 5: oil painting & communicating a social injustice

by Karen C. (very talented teacher)

God: every week I get drained. and every weekend God fills my "cup". I look forward to it.

prayer:

- this place needs community

-wisdom, I'm still working out my next step for the future.

-I strongly believe that all forms of art are the "facebook" of missions now. (effective, influential but not a substitute for real relationships)

-V-day is here. After living on a Christian University, I think that people are so afraid & distracted with getting things, truth needs help

My challenge this week- (numbers 11). is the Lords arm too short?

this is what I've been up to .....

week 3:

-lots of art: Prisma pencils & charcoal, live models and pictures (fully clothed), we're focusing on proportion, foreshortening, facial structure, drapery folds, speed (I'm slow)...

-lots of God: I am learning alot on my quiet times. I choose them! I know how powerful, big and real God is and I am learning about Gods goodness. I think both are important to have a healthy view of God.

-beaches,and visiting the old spots all day on saturdays so I don't snap (and it is Hawaii). I finally got to snorkel! A snorkel was one of the first things I got when I arrived. I have been an ocean freak since jr. high.

Now I am about to start my laundry

Hope you are doing well, I'm thinking about you.

let God amaze you, just for who He is, not just what He can do.

eric

1/22/11 update

Im in Kona. God is big. Everyday I thank God for this time. This week our class speaker was Micheal Harrar. It has been challenging and I’m learning about art techniques, volume, composition, balance, line thickness, diff mediums... the 10-15 hours a day mon-fri I spend doig art does not seem enough. There’s the other aspect of this university, The God aspect, it is ministering to me and challenging me daily.

Now, I love watching it when the waves are big, right now its 6’-8’, such a beautiful mess!

Since I’m staying out of the waves for a while, I go to the salt water pool as often as I can, its not a big spot so don’t tell anyone. When the waves are big they crash into the pool.





- Everything around here has changed, but I’m thankful.

- Still dealing with the whole "whoa, is this guy ok" vibe from people, but it doesn’t bug me too much, Portland was good prep for that, but it’s still hard not to mess with people.
My focus is still art and God!
It’s time to communicate visually. So many people are communicating verbally. Its ridiculous to add to the noise, I choose to communicate visually, so I’m learning how.

This is where I work 615a-745a



























This is what I learned at my spot today...
When I watch the waves I’m used to a certain perspective: watching from the front seeing side to side and waves come to me. (just like life, I want things to come to me)
This spot is different (life is different)
Waves go away from me & I just see the back of them.
-It is uncomfortable
-it’s different
-then really interesting
-now its my favorite point of view
I’ve been missing out on this view the whole time, wasting my time because I was focused on comfort more than anything.
This is so much like life, we want things our way and when we get it its not that cool and we usually miss out on the best.
Then i noticed something
People can spend their life on being comfortable (but never being fully satisfied because that life is all a about 'self gain')
or
You can work for something meaningful and rarely be comfortable but still have peace

Update 1/12/11

(some recent pictures)

Hi fam and friends,

I've returned to YWAM (youth with a mission) University of the Nations secondary school of illustration (college of communications. One of the 7 different colleges here)

-Work duty started today so now that I know my schedule for the next 3 months I can tell you.

-5:45 am wake up , grab something to eat on my way to work in the coffee shop on campus, usually a PB &J literally on the walk to work. (everyone has to do 2 hours of work a day either in the kitchen that serves the entire 300+ students and all the staff/their families, cleaning offices, cooking, electricity, grounds, …..everything to keep this university functioning and keeping the cost of schooling down.

-7:45 get to class. My teacher is an Art Center (pasadena) Grad, she knows her stuff and all the staff are great. Like most leadership here God has plucked them out of a comfortable career focused life and grabbed their hearts to volunteer with this University.

-Worship or prayer for an hour, have lectures on art, practice art skills 6-10 hours a day

-Lunch 12pm

-Dinner 5pm

-I haven’t settled into my schedule yet. I get tired so I exercize: weight room, run up the stairs or the hill pking lot on the side of campus. They also have vball, bball….

-lots of work to do, it’s a nice pace, we will have a different medium every week. This week is pencil, learning the H/B sets and some basic drawing. about 10 drawings plus assignments due each week, looking forward to it, there is so much talent here!

-Weekends are free time but since there is a lot of work to catch up on, Im strapped there.

-Teacher, work, people are great.

-Its funny that I’m working in a café (sweeping the outside). Im learning what a mocha and a cappuccino are.

-There are pro's & Con's but it's sweet to see how God centered this place is, not charismatic or weird. God is big.

-I have 4 roommates. A 17 yr Ukranian, 22 yr from Vegas, a guy from Russia/america and a guy no one ever see's, just his stuff is here.

-now that work duties have started there will be shuttles going into target/walmart, pretty stoked on that.

-My goals for this school are to strengthen my mind, body, spirit, learn how to use art effectively and to not wear shoes the whole time.

Living by faith

...is no joke, it makes or breaks a person. Just being honest here, and this is my experience but faith is a real adventure. It puts you in a position where you have to grab onto God (choice was already involved when you started). I'm not trying to be morbid, just honest. And if you make it through, amazing things are up ahead!

-There's a catch, God is so big it's almost impossible to not grab onto Him.

-God will never give you more than you can handle (yeah cliche, but true)

-its more about the process of becoming who God made you to be, and less about being there.

-God wants your heart first, then things can happen.

coming soon:

After years of waiting, working & prayer, I submitted my portfolio/application and got accepted.

I am going to the school of Illustration in Kona.

The school:

University of the Nations:

>College of Communications:

> School of Illustration.

Dates:

Jan 6, 2011- March 30, 2011

(its more like a 3 month class learning how to communicate through art, and getting units towards a degree in communications).

I am looking forward to this school!

This school is right for me. I have things to say but my voice is not a tool I want to use right now. (my story) (recovery).

I will be back in Kona for at least 3 months.

-----

keep your eyes on the bigger picture.

Lamentations 3:24-28

Eric

I have not been here for a while.

A few weeks ago I went back packing for 6 days, I learned a lot.

Let me fill you in on me.... God has caught my eye in a big way and

I have a lot of life to examine.

When I do something I really do it, I process, I get consumed. And God is that topic for me. You see, I have been completely ruined in a good way. Do you know that feeling that leaves you in total awe, shocked, surprised, terrified, angry, confused but relieved. God is that topic for me.

I have to back up a bit.

I grew up around God, it was apart of my environment. Personally, I thought this God thing was over rated and more of an obligation but more than anything I didn't give it much attention, so i just went with the flow.

I went on to graduate high school and i figured I should know something useful just in case i needed to fall back on something, so I learned a trade. Years, jobs, classes, traveling, people go by and God was cool but I still thought He was small and I wasn't impressed.

I had a conversation (prayer) that went something like ..."god i respect you but are you worth it? Would you let me know if you're real or just an obligation? I need to know if I'm wasting my time"

2 weeks later God answered my prayer: that changed every aspect of life; I didn't see it coming and I'm still trying to understand that as well as live my life. I have been occupied the last few years. I got pounded, but at least I know Im not wasting my time. (and what if thats the point of living?)

If God was real, how would it change things for you?

starting over

There are times we want to start over in life. I am not one of those "I have no regrets" type of person. There are things I would like a redo on. In case you are someone who wants a redo on something, here you can have my notes....

When you start over:
know what you are not going to do, Have a picture if you're visual. then know what you are replacing it with.
I have been trying to accept the whole starting over thing, its hard. My identity has always been in what i did. That was who i was and nothing could change that.

Accept the new. But other than new things what does that even look like? A new car, job, house, vacation or shirt doesn't do much at all for redoing, it just changes the outside, and that's cheap.

I actually have a lot of new now , so who I was cannot be my identity anymore. After fighting that reality for a long time, I have reached the conclusion that the only thing to do that made sense is to start over.

How do you start over?

1) Know that to live the best is to get your identity in who God says you are in His word.
Do some reading and some praying. He knows you better than anyone.

2) Next, get a solid foundation to build your life on, that will lead you to love (not feminizing life, ironically,it is the back bone of life, before the muscles go on) without love nothing you do matters (1 cor 13, ecclisiastes). I see how true that is so be a ridiculously strong person and love.

3) Now, you'll need some purpose or you'll go insane, so read 'purpose driven life' - rick warren or something that emphasizes purpose (I'm also a fan of Rob Bell) - know your purpose. We are all unique human beings so its going to be something you are interested in or will be after your identity is in God. Doesn't necessarily mean being a "Nun" or a "Gandhi" or rich, but you will have peace and that is priceless.

4) expect Life, ( ) peaceful, joyful Life because you now have a solid foundation, and a relationship with your creator who is pretty strong and smart and funny. Now there is no need to complain but we still can and will, just know that God is there. Get in an accountability group so you can be around people who challenge you and care. Don't be a person who just consumes all this life and does nothing with it or you will turn on yourself. Too much of a good thing does that.

*you can expand these into more specifics or make them more complicated. I am not telling anyone how to live because I actually would have issues with that. I notice, that in 2010 we have no idea how to live and its getting harder to see life.
If you want the best then do it His way.
If you don't, your foundation looks like this....

RE: if you really knew me than you would know that..........

this is cool

-I have never been bored
-I hate lying
-I am very honest
- I have been described as "cryptic", "political", "complex"
- knowing the real power of God is the only thing that has brought me to my knees and I respect so far in life. (its not just a polite relationship)
-I am always thinking about something or working on something
-I know the value of giving
-I know the meaning of life
-I am interested in the best not the immediate
-life has been __uuhhhhh_____ (there are no words to explain it)
-In high school, I named all 3 of my turtles Bette Midler.
-I am tired
-Oregon is a beautiful place , Oregon people make me laugh
-I will always try to figure out how something works or is put together
-for the most part, my favorites change often
-I am drawn to honesty
-I just started drinking coffee regularly
-dental hygiene is important to me
-I have learned that real strength is not physical
-to me it makes more sense to make something than find it.
-I get complicated or really simple, there isn't much of a middle ground from me
-I like pizza, taco's, italian food, crab, fruit, Mint, basil and my newest hobby is making chocolate (cacao style)
-churchy/pious attitudes irritate me,
-I have no recorded accomplishments but I know that God is real and that is the best foundation to have
-I'm relieved my name eric is spelled with a 'C'.
-I have alot to be angry about but I know there are better ways to deal
-I miss alot of people but I try not to think about it.
-I fully agree with Reds quote "get busy living or get busy dying"
-i should have changed my car a while ago but i am very attached to it
-i often forget things when i dont see them or when i sleep
-i dont know when to quit
-i am a neat freak at heart
-some day I want to make a hydro turbine and a water pump
-I go for natural food but I always have a box of mac-n-cheese & oreos around
-thankfully I have never broken a bone, or been in a car accident
-I love manual transmissions
-I have a dishwasher but still hand wash the dishes
-I think that labels, image and style are used to hide behind
-I think trends are just weird

the process

In my 28 years of life, I have ended up with a bunch of experiences and a tube in my head and one thing that will always leave me breathless is love and faith in Jesus Christ.

After all I have seen in this world, I think it is impossible for me to sit back and just consume.

I have learned:

- Being uncomfortable is the context for God to work in our lives, how else will we not depend on our self? (I am not saying this from a safe place in my life, things have been insane for me for a few years).

- doesn't matter if He will change things, it just matters that He CAN change things; Its about faith not a feeling

- be transformed by love not just moved by it.

-We think we are deserving, we are not, we get grace anyway

- People make this world beautiful, whether its across the street or across the equator we are all in different circumstances but the same inside; some people use fear and pride more than others.

-A lot gets done when everyone does a little

- uncomfortable vs: comfort, is the big battle we face

-expectations destroy people, have goals and use honesty instead

P.S. Guatemala was a great experience, a long and physically exhausting one. I might have over done it, I have a brain CT scan on monday. I would love to tell you about it in person someday.

Guatemala.

hello all, guess what, I have the opportunity to go to guatemala (Lake Atitlan) mid june to mid july. A friend of mine has gone down there many times to volunteer with an organization down there that assits the community in construction,medical,V.B.S. and sports events to help build community. This summer the organization wants him to:

- facilitate the volunteer teams that will be going down there from the east coast  

-put a promo video together for their org.  

My friend asked me to join. This is not the first time I have traveled with this guy, he is a good friend, but this will be the first time out of the country for me since my accident and I need your prayers for :

health- last time I went to Guatemala I got a mean stomach parasite from eating popsicles that had some water in it. This time, I know not to touch water but I now have a side affect from Brain surgery that leaves me constantly thirsty. thirsty + parasite water = lame

plus all the normal precautions regarding health. I am assured it is a safe and beautiful place.

passport- I'm working on renewing my passport. This is a very spontanious trip and I realized that my passport expires this month (june). The only chance I have of getting it on time is to drive up to Seattle to renew it in person. My appt. is wed. morning, a friend and I will be driving up there tuesday night and I pray that everything goes well and I will leave with a passport in hand.

-cover this trip in prayer protection, that we would be a blessing to the teams and org down there.

-for food,housing,finances.....all to be provided and have Gods blessing on _______________________

-I now have airplane tickets from PDX to Long Beach, and, LAX to Guatemala. I leave on early tuesday in 8 days.

-I don't have a passport yet

-already have everything I will need to pack so there isn't any other rushing around (other than my final projects)

-after Guatemala, I plan to be in S. Cal. for my sisters birthday and possibly a bit longer depending on time constraints

__________________________

Thank you for your prayers, I hope to see you soon. yeah for the land of lakes and volcanoes.

(CDC)

(WHO)

too short

Don Miller has a great talk on the personal story each person has to tell, and that has been on my mind for a while now. Life is too short to not be honest, so here is my attempt at telling another part of it.

It has been 4 + years since my brain surgery. This is the progress I have noticed so far. If you only knew how much God has done in my life.

-I came to Oregon already able to drive. Driving is now like second nature to me, but multi tasking such as talking on a cell phone, the eat-n-drive or talking to a passenger is challenging so I just dont. My reflex time was clocked at .6 seconds a few years ago and that is why the DMV and hospital gave me the "ok"to drive in the first place, I'm sure that time has not changed.

- my VOR (Vestibular-Ocular Reflex) has not improved. I still get very light headed and disoriented when I look up and if I am not looking straight ahead I see double or things move in a jerky, 'shakey camera' motion. However, I am amazed at how the human body compensates for what has been damaged over time. Also upper body strength helps me not to fall.

-Coordination has improved significantly. i am faster at simple tasks; again I have learned ways to compensate using creativity to get something done in a different way as an alternative to needing accuracy. I notice the gears in my brain occasionally slip and I miss judge distance and how much effort to put in to a task (ex. if my nose itches, I'll go to scratch it but end up poking my eye...)

-I have found the best therapy to be Art (ART THERAPY). I continually enroll in mixed media sculpture and calligraphy classes at the local Junior college; in order to help recover things like problem solving, coordination, reduce the effect of tremors (subtle involuntary head shaking that is very annoying and interrupting), motor skills, and a way to develop an alternate form of communication.

This is how it helps:

- problem solving- figure out how parts fit together and how to put imagination into something tangible, also using tools and manipulating materials is good therapy. This is a common deficit in Brain Injuries

-It works on coordination /motor skills and the ability to 'do'

- voice- interaction with people.

-reduce the effect of tremors- concentration and focus are required for calligraphy, so trying to stop tremors is practiced, it also provides experience with focusing on something while distractions are around.

-memory - jogs memories of how things work, where I learned it, who I was and what I was doing- which triggers an awareness of "oh yeah I know this" so its not fully re-learning because the brain cells were already made, the info is there its just a matter of 'unlocking' it; this causes more healing and that effects balance, coordination...its wild how things are connected!

-Attention/focus on one task is a challenge

- Balance- I can now walk on a curb (my balance beam) about 4-5 steps, instead of 1-2. Walking in a straight line on any surface is still difficult. I walk in the dark as much as I can to get my other senses such as feel and sound to take over in that area. Slow walking is now stable and does not feel like I am loosly put together in segments. I hear alot that practice is important, for me challenge is.

-Stimuli is the main enemy at the root of all this, because it breaks concentration. I am still affected by it. I am aware of its influence on my moods, balance, voice clarity, mental processing, coordination, ability to focus on something ....everything

-Voice - not much improvement in this area. I am working on breath support in order to prolong tone-ation so talking won't wear me out. I still have the bad habit of talking with my hands; I can't get over how frustrating it is to not be able to communicate (and this is just a mild case). A couple trips to the ENT has determined that I am using the correct vocal chords not the vocal folds and there are no nodules on them, so all is working but its not working.

-Memory, I am more aware of how much I am lacking in this area

-vision is good, they dont want to give me prisms because double vision is only on the far peripherals.

This is most of the recovery I have noticed so far, when the mind works toward something like putting a puzzle together, art, talking with people or physically jogging; overall health improves because the brain is active and that makes everything in the body work better. I've noticed that my walking is straighter and talking is not so hard to do when my brain is not static. I have not taken meds since I left the 2nd hospital in 2005, and my recovery has been better than anyone expected, such as maybe I would walk at some point in my life. Prayer is amazing! I wonder how much of all this is spiritual there has been a lot of coincidences. I am learning valuable things like how important actions are not just words, people, trust, hope....its all important. I miss being able to communicate with ease but now that I understand how valuable actions are, I'm not sure I want a voice back. God has been good through all of this. I have a new understanding of grace and how completely awesome God is just because of who He is not what He can do for me. Life is overwhelming because there are alot of unknowns; but I often experience peace and knowing that God is much bigger and more kind than anything I can imagine, I'm just preoccupied with myself most of the time that I miss seeing it. A question Don Miller asks is "how are you being blessed?" Before this experience, I never understood how much other people go through ; that is one way that I am blessed.

Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray.